November 2010
1 post
A work in progress poem about Terry Wogan entitled...
January 2010
1 post
November 2009
12 posts
September 2009
2 posts
A Passage I read and Liked
“Billy Pilgrim turned on the television. He came slightly unstuck in time, saw the late movie backwards, then forwards again. It was a movie about American bombers in the Second World War and the gallant men who flew them. Seen backwards by Billy, the story went like this: American planes, fully of holes and wounded men and corpses took off backwards from an airfield in England. Over...
August 2009
1 post
June 2009
9 posts
Hear My Weird Voice!
I’m the ‘special guest’ on Ian Todd’s comedy podcast ‘Untruths’ this week, I was interrogated for ten minutes about Ken Dodd, Die Hard, Cress and Aliens. You can find the podcast by finding and subscribing to ‘Ian Todd Series Two’ on iTunes, but I found it easier to just stream directly from his hosting site.
I gave it a listen ready for my skin to...
I Am A Relatively Decent Human Being
So here is my much delayed account of my second foray into the world of volunteering. This all took place in one exhausting day and I hope it provides some insight into what it is like to try and volunteer your time in England if you are still considered a ‘youth’ (in a fortnight I will be technically closer to thirty than twenty).
I started Tuesday by throwing myself out of bed into...
An Open Letter to the Police Helicopter Pilot...
Dear Mr Pilot,
I just wanted to thank you for the interest in which you have expressed in me, especially in a period of unemployment which has made me feel anonymous and alienated. I am referring, of course, to you shining that searchlight into my attic a few moments ago, and leaving it to linger for a good five or six seconds. Although I applaud your vigilance, I am afraid it is very unlikely...
Your P46 is Dooooooommedd
On several occassions this year I’ve had to phone the inland revenue. What is wrong with those people? I have spoken to people there before who were super friendly and helpful, but then they had some sort of recruitment drive for disgruntled graduates, angry menopausal women and men who sound like Private Fraser from Dad’s Army.
Me: Oh hi, I apologise in advance if I’m...
Common Sense Geezers
Just popped over to the BNP live TV stream to check out Nick Griffin’s chubby reaction to today’s egging. I’ve never really looked into the BNP much, I have always maintained I vote just to keep the BNP out, but I really didn’t know much about them apart from what I’ve seen in comedy shows or chatting to the ocassional thick retail co-worker. For me, the BNP has...
I Am A Wonderful Human Being
Being out of work for the past 5 months there is a void opening on my C.V, and a wear mark on my bedroom carpet where I pace up and down all day wishing I had something to do. So I decided this week to do volunteer work. I am a selfless, gorgeous, caring young man, and you are welcome to me, England. I applied for a few positions on do-it.org and got a call from a nice guy over at Gateshead...
May 2009
14 posts
http://is.gd/sbR3 how the hell is this legal?
Watching Bones. They are in England this episode.. There is a man called Cyril who eats jellied eels and drives a mini. ffs.
RT @stickycomics: Woo, front page of digg again today … thanks buddies! :) http://is.gd/wayG
Anyone watching Primeval? They are being beseiged by killer ostriches. Sigh.
new slogan for ITV to use on Primeval ads… ‘Primeval, give it a break, it’s British.’
Thinking about watching Pride and Glory tonight.
If I ever need to walk in front of a tank in protest, I will certainly put my shopping down first. For more dramatic impact.
I predict a) Jon Voight turns out to be the bad guy and b) it’ll be shit
You will only get that pun if you’re a closeted and ashamed N-Dubz fan.
That Lass from N-Dubz is getting tested for swine flu. PEPPA IF YOU CAN HEAR MEEEE (i regret that bacon roll).
Every time she calls someone ‘sweety’ I want to scream. We get it, you’re sensitive and strong, go and eat a big sandwich, jawbone.
Can anyone think of a more infuriating character than Angela in ‘Bones’? YOUR MOUTH IS HUGE STOP TALKING WANK.
I think I could be best friends with DJ Talent.
This is demented: http://bit.ly/Fqwrd
April 2009
41 posts
http://is.gd/vFLn wow I’d never seen this… Spike Jonze skate vid
The Daily Show have called the media overreaction to swine flu ‘Snoutbreak 09’. Best pun ever.
my swine flu joke - if you get pissed this week, tell people you aren’t drunk, you’ve got the WINE FLU.
Didn’t feed ducks after all. Recycled cans instead. Mother Nature is still pleased with me, though.
BBC! This isn’t over! I’m coming for you! And I’m bringing all the hell I can spare! Well a ropey sitcom pitch at least…
Had a good weekend, batteries recharged, junk food consumed. Tomorrow I’m going to feed ducks and kick arse, in that order.
Surprised by how good the Reggie Perrin remake is. Well done BBC, my new nemesis.
between that cat photo and Dillinger Escape Plan I’m cheering up.
Didn’t get onto BBC course. Darn. Off to mope.
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